Caving in Mexico - now with "MUCHO ADVENTURE!"

(Bustamante... Mission accomplished)

Ever think about visiting interior Mexico and going 115 feet underground? Well, if the idea of doing so sounds like a walk in the park, I suggest these helpful tips for adding "Mucho Adventure!" (Pronounced Moo-cho ad-ven-TOO-reh) to this simple trip.

1) Go with just two people. One who has never been to Mexico and one who has been... once.
2) Make sure that only one of the two people can speak Spanish and make sure their vocabulary does not exceed 100 words or so.
3) Rent a car to get to the border, and then rent a car at the border to drive into interior Mexico.
4) Rent the car in Laredo, but drive across the Columbia border. For extra EXTRA "Mucho Adventure" go ahead and cross at the Laredo border... We didn't go for the extra EXTRA though.
5) Make sure to get to Mexico after the banks are closed so you can only convert what the permit guy has in his pockets, Only about 100 Pesos.
6) When you go either don’t tell you wife, or make sure you go while your pregnant wife stays at home with your 2 year old daughter (this adds extra "Mucho Adventure" to last once you get back home). We did one of each. Also, make sure not to buy a US Calling Card before going over so that you aren't able to call home and check on things.
7) Drive from the Mexico border to your destination (Bustamante) at night. The busted-ass roads are better than ANY cup-o-coffee.
8) Get to the camp ground at around 10:30pm and get turned away. Then in your best Spanish, beg to camp there anyway because you don't have anywhere else to go.
9) Go visit the cave, but be sure to take the 1 hour hike up and not use a vehicle.
10) Just before you get to the cave entrance make your own shortcut up the mountain and get lost and tangled up in prickly bushes and crap. Use whistle-location with the cave caretaker to find your way out.
11) Get to the entrance and make sure you left your kneepads and secondary light sources behind... don't even bother with a 3rd light source.
12) Visit Monterrey and just start driving around 'till your good and lost. Buy a map and figure out how to get back to Bustamante. Make sure you head back at night and make sure your route home has a detour on it so you can get Extra EXTRA "Mas Mucho Adventure!" involving shady, secluded dirt roads and interaction with scary roadside store attendants.
13) Drink the water (we didn't do this, but if you do it nice and early you’re SURE to have a huge heaping handful of "Mucho Adventure" to last you all week)... This is only advised if you're a cocky, trouble-making bastard.
14) Drive up and down every street in town in a 2005 rental car to make sure everybody sees you at least twice, then walk those streets at night 'cause your bored and your TV channel selection sucks.
15) Consume every junk food available only in Mexico including "Pepsi Fire", "Doritos Incognito" Chips, Chamoy Salsa and a host of other mystery foods and beverages.
16) Get a cold and ask the pharmacy store owner for drugs. Make sure she hands you something you've never heard of before and you can't read the ingredients to see if you are allergic to it. Scott took care of this part for us.
17) Oh yeah. Get pulled over by the cops in Monterrey for no known reason. Get sent on your way because you can't understand what they are saying.
18) Forgot this one too... Make sure to get all the way to the border after driving for 5 hours, and almost get turned away because your rental car papers look suspicious to the Permit office manager (All I could make out was them asking if Scott or I were the ones who filled them out).
19) Oh yeah... Make sure to carry your permits in the door pocket of your rental car so when you open the car door, the wind will catch them and you can chase them down the street. Woohoo! You never seen a geek run so fast doing the stop-a-paper-stomp.

That's about all I can think of right now. I'm prolly blocking out some thoughts that would give us an even 20... If my shrink discovers what they are I'll post them at the bottom.

Look for more details on caving in Bustamante Mexico soon.