Pepsi - Sneaky Sneaky!

(Uhhhh huh! What's next Pepsi!? FLAVOR PERHAPS?)

Pepsi is trying to sneak up on an unsuspecting, health conscious crowd. You see, somewhere, someone got a huge raise and a bonus for convencing his soda company to sell a sugar-free, preservative-free, flavor-free, carbonation-free softdrink called "FINE WATER"... well "Aquafina".

Anyway, time has passed and water, not having the addictive sugar and caffeine qualities of good 'ole Pepsi Cola, is causing a monetary downslide for the company. No one is drinking any of their various soda products and there is a LOT of competition for the cold, crisp, flavorlessness of Water.

"Hrm... How do we re-hook the mindless consumer?", was the question pondered during many a coffee-scented conference call and at last someone said (and ALL of this is hypothetical), "I got it, let's reintroDUCE the consumer to SODA!" followed by a maniacal rubbing together of hands. He went further with "First we can add... hrm... Carbonation! Everyone loves carbination! Then we can move to FLAVOR! I mean, who doesn't love FLAVOR!? And when no one is looking we repackage with something like
'NOW FEATURING THE NATURAL, ENERGY LIFTING EXTRACTS CAFFEINE and SUGAR!'

I'm sure that person will also get a raise. Some newhire at Pepsi needs to remember that... It will come in handy in 20 years when the whole thing happens again. Maybe YOU can be the one who gets the raise and a bonus, eh? *steve shoots a glance out of the corner of his eye and nods approvingly... expecting that you will give him some sort of kickback in the distant future, like... free Pepsi for life or somethin'*

NOTE: If I could afford it, I would just drink KeyLime flavored Steez soda. I'm big into poetic contradictions like Health Soda, Diet Beer or Organic Cigarettes. Maybe I'll invent "Whole Tequilla" and make a mint... At least here in Austin and maybe Portland, Seattle and San Francisco.